Love Hurts - Love Our City pt 1
Good morning, Church. Come on, you can do better than good morning, church. All right. All right. You know, I like you guys to talk back to me. I'm an old school Baptist preacher, a little Pentecostal love. Wesley of Ghazala back at me. A man. A man. I love. The Hallow. Yes. Thank you. Worship team for us and worship.
00:00:42:27 - 00:01:20:45
Speaker 2
I'll say this about worship. You only get what you put in your. You only get what you put in. And sometimes, you know, you have to kind of press in and just a little bit harder to get what you need. And so my encouragement to you, just a lifestyle of worship that you will press beyond any discomfort that you may have because this in the pressing is in the shaking to get to our Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior is where we have the opportunity to meet him, where He's at can meet you where you're at.
00:01:21:54 - 00:01:40:31
Speaker 2
So church, as we said to the guys, you saw the video. We're we're in a process of getting into a new sermon series called Love Our City. And so I'm so excited to love our city is a campaign that we do every single year where we get to love back into our community and we begin to really just love our neighbors and love those who may not be right beside us.
00:01:40:31 - 00:02:03:41
Speaker 2
And so for the next several weeks, for the entire month, this is going to be our sermon series called Love Our City. But 11 excuse me, November, not November. Good gosh. September, come home. Church. Jesus, help me. Come on. September the 12th to the 18th, we have the opportunity to love on the City of High Point. And we need your help.
00:02:03:41 - 00:02:29:47
Speaker 2
We need your help to be the hands and feet of the Gospel, to be the hands and feet of one church. And we are going to embark upon a new location every single day where we get to love on the City of High Point. And so if you have not had the opportunity to go, went to our website or app and where you can just download and just really connect with this and just serve the city, we're going to ice cream shops and food lines and target come on and let's say Target.
00:02:30:27 - 00:03:08:51
Speaker 2
Yes. Boy, that is my daughter's favorite place to shop. My Discover car says that. Amen. Boy Yes, she knows it too. And Aston is not too far behind her. If you have your Bibles, let's turn to, um, let's turn to Luke, chapter one, chapter 17, verses one through five. Luke Chapter 17 verses one through five. As I hear pages, turn them and give you a second, the words would be on the screen as well.
00:03:10:06 - 00:03:50:06
Speaker 2
Luke Chapter 17 Verses one through five, verse one says, Then say He unto the disciples, it is impossible to, but that offenses will come. Let's just stop right there real quick. Luke is writing and he is saying that an offense will surely come is guaranteed. It's not a possibility. It's just a matter of when he is writing saying that offensive will come but will unto him though through whom they come.
00:03:51:36 - 00:04:28:53
Speaker 2
It were better for him that a milestone milestone were hung about his neck and he cast into the sea then that he should have been one of these little ones. Tiki to yourselves, if thy brother trespass against die, rebuke him. And if he repent, forgive him. And if you trespass as against the seven times in a day and seven times in a day turn again to the saying, I repent, thou shalt forgive him.
00:04:30:46 - 00:05:08:00
Speaker 2
And the Apostle said, unto the lower increase, our faith, when Luke is saying the offenses hurts, will come. And then when it comes that you are called your ass, you are commission to ask for forgiveness. And so for our first sermon for Love, our city series, I would like to call it Love Hurts. Love Hurts. The closer you are in a relationship with somebody, the greater the hurt would be.
00:05:09:43 - 00:05:31:39
Speaker 2
Because hurts is not only about proximity, it's about who you connected to. So it doesn't matter who you are, the closer that you are to someone that you begin to do life with someone, family members. What of that? Love hurts that you have the greater opportunity to be hurt. Think about it, Mary. How many Mary folks in here.
00:05:31:39 - 00:05:53:38
Speaker 2
Just raise your hand record. Wow. Yeah, I know exactly what I'm talking about. Right. Don't look at your spouse. Just the sort of hit after having got to do some Mary's counseling. You don't for the clothes. You didn't wash the pot. You left you know, you left the spaghetti pot in the water with the food floating around in the water.
00:05:53:38 - 00:06:21:41
Speaker 2
My wife hates that you didn't cut the crusts off the bread. The mac and cheese wasn't mac and cheese enough. I mean, whatever that may be. You know, we know that sometimes somehow the love is going to hurt somewhere. Somehow we live we learn to live with the hurts in our life right? We learn to live with the hurts in our life.
00:06:21:41 - 00:06:52:39
Speaker 2
And what I found is this the offenses that we find, the hurts that we find goes from hurting to anger to bitterness to resentment, to unforgiveness and eventually hate if is not unchecked. This is a process that we begin to see that if you begin to you find yourself in a place of hurt or a place of offense, that it has a process of being resentment into bitterness and it goes to unforgiveness, even to hate.
00:06:54:12 - 00:07:17:58
Speaker 2
And what I've learned is this, that you're paying, you're hurt. Those feelings that you have is not the symptom. It's not the problem, the pain that you feel has symptoms to it. And what I realize is this what I realize is that sometimes to begin to identify the hurt in your life, that pain, that offense you have to go back.
00:07:19:35 - 00:07:39:05
Speaker 2
You have to go back in order to go forward. You have to go back to that place where you begin to think about where did that hurt that offense really set in place. Back to that place where I was a little child or back to that place where my mom's house or papa South or back to their place of employment.
00:07:39:05 - 00:07:47:09
Speaker 2
A place where you found that offense. That hurt took place because hurt people hurt people.
00:07:49:10 - 00:08:13:42
Speaker 2
When the last time someone hurt you, when was the last time that you felt the hurt or pain from someone they said something sideways or they treated you wrong or they did you dirty. When was the last time that you found yourself in so much pain you didn't know what to do? It's the end of someone. You guys may be a little holier than me, and it's okay.
00:08:15:00 - 00:08:36:45
Speaker 2
So if you're looking at Pastor Ryan B.S. before Christ, I'm going to say what I used to do. I used to snap, crackle in. Do you know what I'm talking about? Before Christ, we used to snap, crackle and pop meaning by you, by the cash, these hands and what I call my boys up and we coming for you.
00:08:37:35 - 00:09:06:12
Speaker 2
But that's not always a responsible Christ wants us to do. You heard me once. That's okay. Hurt me twice. Okay, I give you I may give you a third time, but the fourth time, you know, we're going to have some issues going to be some consequences. And what repercussions? That's right. Boy, I must be from my streets. I know exactly what I'm talking about, but watch this.
00:09:07:44 - 00:09:33:10
Speaker 2
What about that individual who bears your last name? The person who carries the name of miss him? I'm not talking about Felicia, the person that you married to that you sleep with every single night, the person that you look at in the morning and look at a night. How about the person that you have in over at night?
00:09:33:10 - 00:10:09:05
Speaker 2
You thinking, is she still breathing? You check in, hurt people, hurt people. If you live long enough, you know that love will eventually hurt you because you're making yourself vulnerable to someone, that you're opening yourself up to somebody. If I remember, if it doesn't mean that if I forgive them, if I haven't forgiven them, doesn't mean that I really forgave them.
00:10:09:05 - 00:10:30:41
Speaker 2
If I still remember what the hurt the pain is, is that truly mean that I've forgiven him? If I'm always recalling the past and we have gone through it, does it really mean that I really have forgiven them? What is real forgiveness look like? Have you thought about that? What is true forgiveness look like? What does it look like for you and I?
00:10:30:41 - 00:10:53:43
Speaker 2
Matthew 18 says, If we are to forgive those 70 times seven, you know, then we start trying to an eye for an eye two for two. You hurt me. I'm hurt you back. Vengeance is mine says the law. We are bringing this scripture. Whatever, man. So that a man shall we try to justify what our hurt is by bringing this script in so wrong?
00:10:54:41 - 00:11:25:10
Speaker 2
Because you can't justify your hurt through scripture. I remember Felicia and I, this is flesh and this is our both of our second marriage. Now, remember, my first marriage, my my ex-wife, boy, she she put me through the wringer. My ex-wife, she cheated on me. She started messing around with some other people. When I'm coming home and I'm staying, I'm cooking dinner and cleaning and washing cars and doing all the great stuff, you know, the things that a husband is supposed to do.
00:11:25:49 - 00:11:41:54
Speaker 2
Next thing you know, my ex-wife, she's coming home 1:00 in the morning, still do the daily. Do I go to work? You know, we pay the bills next. You know, she's come home 2:00 in the morning next, you know, with three or four or 5:00 in the morning, she's coming home. Like, what? One where were you? Where are you doing?
00:11:41:58 - 00:12:04:04
Speaker 2
3:00 in the morning next? You know, I find out that she's coming in 6:00 in the morning. I'm heading out to work. Like what's really going on? Eventually, what happened? We got a divorce. And because of my hurt in my pain that she has caused me, I made it my my purpose in life to dog out every female thereafter because.
00:12:04:04 - 00:12:30:05
Speaker 2
Hurt people. Hurt people. I'm not proud of it. Every female that I encountered there after I made sure that she felt the pain that I feel, I made sure that I had three and four or five, six girlfriends. Guys don't do that, but I made sure that I'm a get you before you get me because hurt people. Hurt people.
00:12:31:01 - 00:13:11:24
Speaker 2
And not only that, I begin to put up some guards and some some barriers around my life. I wouldn't allow people to get close to me because you get close enough. To me, that means I'm vulnerable. And sometimes what we have to do, we have to be vulnerable. We have to begin to open up ourselves to other people and then I meet this young lady at a paint counter, a Super Kmart, with her and her mama and even their three years of marriage.
00:13:11:49 - 00:13:36:59
Speaker 2
I was still guarded for years and marriage I was still guarded because I would not allow Felicia to get to the innermost place of who are worse, because I was still carrying a hurt that burden from my other relationship. Five years in six years. Then I started to open up our life. Felicia to get closer to the innermost being.
00:13:36:59 - 00:14:03:32
Speaker 2
You guys think because you're married, that you're now going to open up yourself to your spouse? Because I remember this living the life that I was living, chasing females and dogging him out. I was reminded that revenge does not heal my hurt. The revenge that you're seeking does not heal any hurt that you may be encountering right now.
00:14:04:17 - 00:14:08:24
Speaker 2
Only God can. Only the blood of Christ.
00:14:10:26 - 00:14:34:37
Speaker 2
And I knew that forgiving wasn't always easy. How did you get to a place where I had to begin to forgive my ex-wife for all the things that she's done? So what do you do when you don't understand the hurt that you're experiencing? What do you do when you don't understand what God has? Place you in a place where you're walking faithfully before him and then you're the people that you are doing life with is hurting you.
00:14:34:37 - 00:15:06:32
Speaker 2
The people that you have married to that is hurting. What about the people that you are living life? The birth you, your brothers, your sisters, your uncles, your aunts has hurt you because love hurts and we act like we're okay. We walk around like we're okay. Chris, go ahead, grab that bucket. So I saw this illustration by Pastor Mike.
00:15:06:32 - 00:15:42:39
Speaker 2
It is what kind of twisted a little bit. But what I begin to realize is this every time that you meet a new person, you open yourself up to another opportunity to get hurt. Chris So walk around in life, some hurt that I'm carrying. I go to work, I go to church. The next thing you know, I encounter another person and I'm still carrying the hurt.
00:15:43:55 - 00:16:06:30
Speaker 2
I'm going to the service, I'm going to church and I'm raising my hand. I'm doing worship, being my hurt is still visible to everybody. This pain that I'm carrying is still visible to everybody. And I meet another person. I get mad. My wife or my spouse, and we still are hurt. We're in pain and the next thing happens, another infraction happens and there's another hurt that comes against me.
00:16:06:52 - 00:16:27:32
Speaker 2
And I'm walking around like I'm okay. But deep inside I'm hurting. Deep inside I'm searching for for that that peace. That peace that passes all understanding. No, you know, the scriptures. But yet there's another face that comes up because I forgot to do what my wife asks me to do, or I went to work and then my my boss first name because I didn't turn in my nails the proper time.
00:16:27:32 - 00:16:57:02
Speaker 2
I didn't meet my deadlines and I'm hurt because she's she's popping off at me. Pinky is okay. I still love you, girl. Right? Until returning yourselves report. But then you go. There's another hurt. Next thing you know, you're juggling all the hurts in life. But then you still trying to operate in your calling. People see the pain that's on your face.
00:16:58:01 - 00:17:23:04
Speaker 2
And how do I begin to operate what God is calling me to do with caring all these hurts? Oh Jesus, this is what we do week after week. Sunday after Sunday, we come to church like we're not hurt. And I'm trying to get to what God is calling me to get to, but I'm limited because I haven't let go what God told me to let go.
00:17:24:34 - 00:18:00:41
Speaker 2
Like now Scripture tells us that is impossible, that offenses will come because offenses will come and I'm still king around the hurt and the pain. And then I'm trying to navigate things. And then next thing you know, I can't operate and then you get hurt again and they just keep coming at you and they just keep coming. I'm trying to catch all the hurts and it pains, but I can't.
00:18:00:41 - 00:18:36:54
Speaker 2
And the next thing you know, can you pick it up for me? Bring it here. The person is closest to you, hurts you the most, and they make sure that you stick with it. They remind you of the pain that they've coughed. Wow. And we're holding it. And the next thing you know, they see the other hurts around and they pick it up, too.
00:18:36:54 - 00:19:12:52
Speaker 2
And because they haven't forgiven themselves, because not just one, but two, and they're still making sure that they remember. You hurt me. I'm hurt you too, as some things are hidden. Oh, no, I got to pick that back up, because what happens is this we pick up the hurts that God told us, set us free from, and we're comfortable with them.
00:19:13:55 - 00:19:33:14
Speaker 2
We're comfortable with the hurts that we've the other people's cost of. We're comfortable in operating our gift things in our town as we were. God told us to let go and let Him have it. He said, No, I'm gonna pick it back up. After you laid it down at the altar, our ladies had an encounter with Christ in a Holy Spirit.
00:19:33:14 - 00:20:46:44
Speaker 2
Actually, everyone was present last week. This is just a reminder for you when you were at the well, don't pick back up what got taken off of you. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to unload these hurts. Ephesians 431 says this. It says, Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, slander as well. All types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through crisis, forgiving you got it says this Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, slander, and all types of evil behavior.
00:20:46:44 - 00:21:07:23
Speaker 2
You have to stop managing your pain and begin to manage God's promises. We have to stop managing the pain that we were carrying around the hurts. Have you been carried around for decades and years? 30 years ago? 30 days ago? 30 minutes ago, when somebody put it in his parking lot, cut you off and say, How are you doing today?
00:21:07:23 - 00:21:45:25
Speaker 2
Welcome to one church and say, hallelujah, and you're still mad. You know, come on now. I seen some you guys leave this parking lot trying to make a left turn out. His parking lot is crazy. Yeah. Stop managing your pains and manage his promises. I want you to remember this. Blessed are the meek For they show inherit the earth, Blessed are the merciful For they shall obtain mercy.
00:21:46:14 - 00:22:25:59
Speaker 2
Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the sons of God. So what do you say, Pastor Ryan? Forgiveness is God's desires. But my decision, God desires that you forgive. But it's your decision to forgive. God desires that we forgive, that we walk in forgiveness. But it's your decision that you live it out because of the offense is just an occasion.
00:22:25:59 - 00:23:17:53
Speaker 2
It's just the event. And being offended is in opposition is your decision. The offenses will come, but it's your decision to be defend offended. Hebrews 12 one says this. Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great huge crowd of witnesses to the life we live, a faith let us strip off every way that slows us down. Let us strip off every hurt Let us strip off every pain Let us let us strip off everything that separates us from Christ and let us run with endurance and the razor gossip before us.
00:23:17:53 - 00:23:41:06
Speaker 2
As we begin to look at the hurt, some give you a quick few steps how to really walk through forgiveness. And to do that, we really want to kind of pull together one of the greatest stories in the Bible. And we see this story, Genesis, chapter 37, through through through the book of 50. So 37 through 50. We see that in Genesis.
00:23:41:54 - 00:24:21:03
Speaker 2
It's the story of Joseph. Joseph was stripped from his family, sold into slavery, left for dead, lied about sleeping with part of his wife, thrown in prison. So he went from the pit to the prison to the palace. He went to the pit where he was thrown into. He did 20 years of prison for something he never did.
00:24:21:25 - 00:24:44:24
Speaker 2
Oh, and then got a position him to be in a palace. So this lessers know the guys plans are greater than my problems and God's plans for our lives is much greater than the problems that we may face every single day. So it doesn't matter what you be going through, what you're going through or what you're going to go through.
00:24:44:24 - 00:25:24:59
Speaker 2
The gas plans are greater than my problems. The first step in forgiving is this You have to deal with your pain privately so you can praise publicly. Deal with your pain privately. So you can praise publicly. What do you say? Pass reign. Look at the life of a life and story of Joseph. If we were to go to Chapter 42 of 43, we see that Joseph removed himself from his brothers as he recognizes brothers.
00:25:26:11 - 00:25:53:00
Speaker 2
He removed himself from his brothers, cried, washed his face, and went back into the presence of his brothers and blessed them. Why did Joseph do that? I believe this. Joseph didn't want to have that emotional connection right then and there, because I just believe that the Holy Spirit allowed him to kind of just have that that grace with his brother.
00:25:54:21 - 00:26:29:08
Speaker 2
He went back and cried and probably was just upset. He did that privately. Then he went wash his face, walked out with forgiveness, and he said to himself, what you meant for evil. God made it for good. You deal with your pain privately so you can praise publicly. Don't disclose hurt to others. That's what we see in Joseph as well.
00:26:30:00 - 00:26:54:47
Speaker 2
Joseph knew that if he would have told Pharaoh what his brothers and his family did to him, Pharaoh would just pretty much killed his entire family because the favor that Joseph had with Pharaoh, you know what many of us do when we're hurt? What do we do? We go tell our brothers, our sisters, girl, you know what she did to me?
00:26:55:53 - 00:27:27:56
Speaker 2
You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. I'll go him brag and talk about it like, Oh, he did this or she did this. And let me tell you what was going on. What's the purpose of you telling telling your best friend? Like, you know, we are going to roll out, roll out, you know, what's the purpose of you telling and dogging out that individual most of the times that we can gain favor in their eyes so they can side with you on their side of the story.
00:27:27:56 - 00:28:05:29
Speaker 2
Don't disclose your hurt in paying with the others. I will say this unless you're seeking godly counsel, godly, unbiased counsel, because even Christians we can give you what you want to hear, but we should give you what God wants for you. If you're going to talk about it, pray about it, pray on it, pray over it and pray through it.
00:28:06:52 - 00:28:39:11
Speaker 2
Pray on you. Pray on your hurts. Pray through your hurts and pray over your hurts. Because we know that as we get closer with people, as we begin to do life for people, love hurts. And remember this forgiveness. It takes time. It takes time and it's okay. It's going to take time for you to know that that individual is they may never be remorseful.
00:28:39:38 - 00:29:14:33
Speaker 2
You may never get. I'm sorry. You may never get that from them. And it's okay because this is what the scripture tells us to do, that we should confront the confrontation in the recall to confront the person that we are having confrontation with. Matthew 18 tells us this If another believer sends a guess, you go to them privately, point out the hurt, the offense.
00:29:14:33 - 00:29:38:02
Speaker 2
This is if they listen you want to brother over. If they don't take him with a witness and an elder with you so that we guys begin to talk about it. We know that love hurts and we know that God is asking us to let it go. And so as we begin to go through Love our city series as our worship team, get ready.
00:29:39:18 - 00:30:23:20
Speaker 2
I want to remind you today to do this, to let it go, stop holding on to it, and allow God to give purpose to your pain. Allow God to give purpose to your pain. Thank Chris. This is a song that our worship team is going to sing today because I believe this. We need everybody that we're connected to and you may now go back into a reconciled relationship with the person who hurt you.
00:30:23:20 - 00:30:49:44
Speaker 2
But God desires to reconcile you unto Him and even through that process of being hurt in that pain that you may experience, there's a song that we're going to sing as This is a throwback. It says, I love you. I need you to survive. You need me, I need you. Because I would look out in the regardless of I've been hurt.
00:30:49:44 - 00:31:32:24
Speaker 2
You've been hurt. My prayer is that you would know that you need your brothers and sisters in Christ to walk and do life with you. You need your neighbors. You need those who may not look like you. And yes, if you said I do, you're stuck with that person. And so let us stand in as we begin to close out service rather than walking out your hurt, I encourage you just to lay down and give it to Christ.
00:31:32:24 - 00:32:02:29
Speaker 2
So this is part one of Love Hurts. Next week it's going to be part two and we're going to talk about church hurt and those know hurt like church hurt. If you've been there, believe me, I know where you're at. Been there, got a T and a tattoo. But what we want to do is begin to help you walk through and navigate through the hurt you may have felt either from this ministry or even a previous ministry.
00:32:03:41 - 00:32:29:02
Speaker 2
And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you may have found hurt some church at some point in your life. But at this one thing, I do know that the King of kings and the Lord the Lord's love you. Regardless, He wants to love you through the hurt in that pain. And so if you are or have been hurt by someone, go talk to that person.
00:32:30:20 - 00:32:40:52
Speaker 2
Go make things right, because we don't want you to live in a space of being hurt, so you don't have to hurt other people. Amen.
00:32:41:15 - 00:32:57:56