Mental Health - Real Talk pt 4

Even if you have anxiety and depression, right? Yet praise. OK. OK. Amen. See, this is how it's got to work today. Because now I'm fired up. They have set me up really well. Maybe badly because boy, who am thankful for my call. Thankful for my call.

How many of you guys knew it was Mental Health Awareness Month? Hey, man, that's pretty good. Maybe I don't need to preach I'm glad you all know that. How many of y'all knew I was a therapist? A and how many of y'all know I'm a pastor? Hey, man, that's good. That's good. That's good. Let me pray. I'm a father. Thank you so much for this day. God, thank you for my church. Thank you for my church family. God, thank you for the worship team. I thank you for my family and my crew. But, God, if it was only you Thank you. What you've done in my life and what you continue to do. Pray pray that you would speak through me today.

That people would come to know you in a special way. That maybe chains are broken or maybe they see ways in which to get help so that those chains can fall maybe later down the road. Whatever it is, God your will be done. Help me to say nothing more. Nothing less. Jesus name. I pray. Amen. So I know this is kind of a heavy, taboo kind of subject for a lot of people. So y'all know how I usually am. And here I'm on, and we'll start out with a little story True story. In fact, it's a true story from just last week in my therapy office. I'm seeing a young lady who has some pretty serious diagnoses, and she struggles with with showing or allowing herself to show or feel any kind of emotion. Right. And so I really don't believe she has smiled in my office. And y'all know, those of you who really know me like that's a struggle for me.

And so she kept smiling the other day. And I was so excited because I thought it was something that I was doing or saying You know, when I realized I hope I don't upset anybody, first thing I had a booger hanging out of my nose True story. And she was laughing True story. So I wanted to I thought I'd break the ice and hopefully make y'all giggle a little bit before we get into some of the more serious things I have a passion for change in the stigma of mental health in the church. Jesus flip tables. I believe mental health is one of those things And I get not everybody is on the same page in here, and that's OK. We're not on the same page, you know, with a lot of things written on this table. And that's OK. Right? Because that's why we're here. That's why we are the church that we say we are.

But my call is to change the stigma of mental health in the church and to help people with some mental health issues. I'm not ashamed of that this morning. I know it's different. And that's OK. I know it's a little taboo But hopefully, hopefully today I'm saying all that, too, to set us up, too, that you understand today might not be our typical sermon because I really do want us to try to hear and understand or at least maybe start to understand or start some conversations around what mental health is, especially in the church. So we're going to start with some stats. I know for a lot of people, stats are boring. So here's what I want you to do that I hope will help you with these stats.

Maybe think about some of your people We have people in this church that hurt with mental health. So imagine some of our people as some of these stats Every stat, every number is a face, is a person, is a wife, a husband, a daughter, a son, All of those things. Right. So as we go through these real quick, I want you to hear that, OK? To imagine that. 23% of pastors acknowledge that they have personally struggled with a mental illness That's one in four pastors, one in four Anybody take a guess why I started with that We need to pray for our pastor. We need to pray for our staff. Ministry is hard 49% of pastors say they rarely or never speak to their congregation about mental illness.

We're doing it again because we strive to be that different kind of church that we're not afraid to get up here and talk about. Some of those hard, taboo kind of conversations And might I say, I hope that you really understand that, that you go to a really good different kind of church Hey, man, I think you go to a church. I'm not going to get off. Lord, help me. You go to a church that is different from a lot of them. But it's a church that I truly believe is needed in our community, in our society, in our world. I know it has been hard but I wonder what it would be like if there were more churches like us that represented what heaven was going to look like and that was willing to have some hard conversations and accept people exactly how they are when they walk in that door right now, that doesn't mean we accept different things maybe they believe in and are doing, but that we accept them, that we strive to see them as Jesus did. Because I really don't believe if somebody with a severe mental health issue walked through that door that Jesus would look at them and say, I'm not sure that we can handle you.

I'm not sure that we could handle your children. I don't think Jesus would say that 27% of churches have a plan to assist families affected by mental illness. 27% Yet, if you look at the national average, especially since COVID, there's a lot of people struggling with severe, debilitating anxiety and depression. And who better to help with that conversation than the church? A body of believers who claim that that's what we're about healing the broken hearted. I think that fits. Don't you Helping to break chains. That's us, guys. That's us. 59% of those actually suffering from mental illness say the same. I missed one. Hold on. Let's back up. 65% of churchgoing family members of those with mental illness want their church to talk openly about mental illness. Yet we just saw that only 27% really tried to do that. 59% of those actually suffering from mental illness say the same 53% of church goers with mental illness say the church has been supportive.

That's not a horrible statistic. Thing Think of the great commission. I don't know that it's a great one either, man. 76% of church goers say suicide is a problem that needs to be addressed. In their community. So we've got 60 I mean, 76% that say suicide is a problem and we need to do something about it. But go back up again. 27% of churches have a plan to assist families affected by mental illness. We got a huge gap there. Would you not agree? Yeah, 32% of church goers say a close acquaintance or family member has died by suicide.We got to get preventative, you know, instead of reactive 80% of pastors say their church is equipped to assist someone who is threatening to take his or her own life. I don't want to say that is wrong, but I don't know that that that adds up to the ones that we just read like not to put all of us. I started to say not to be preachy, but I am preaching up here but I wonder if I were to poll everybody in this building and I asked you, what are the appropriate things to say if you were talking to someone who was saying they were thinking about taking their life?

Because if a bunch of us don't know the answer to that, then I'm not sure that the church is equipped to assist someone I don't know that the pastor is going to be the one every single time I'm talking to that person. Does that make sense to you? Y'all following me 92% of pastors say their church is equipped to care for the family that experiences the suicide of a loved one. 4% of church goers who lost a loved one to suicide say church leaders were aware of their loved ones struggles We might could preach a whole sermon on that. 68% of Americans feel they would be welcome in church if they were mentally ill. 68 sounds like a high percentage. But again, when we're talking about the great commission and what we're all called to do, you mean to tell me 32% wouldn't feel welcome walking in the door of our church because they had a mental illness Please tell me somebody in this building realizes that's a problem.

35% of Americans say mental illness could be overcome with Bible study and prayer alone. I think that percentage might be a little higher So here's where it might get sticky for some of us. We're going to lead right from that into stigma. If you don't hear anything else I say today, I want you to hear me say this anxiety and depression are not sins OK, there was no reaction. Let's try this one more time. Anxiety and depression are not sins. It does not make you a less than Christian Let's see if we can compare it to something else. If you had diabetes, would you go to a doctor you thought you had diabetes? Yeah. If somebody were to fall out in here with heart attack like symptoms, some of us probably would be praying. Right. Some of us might even quote scripture I bet somebody would count on one. One Why is it so different? God made us holistically. US. It's all he made. All of it together.

There should not be some kind of huge difference between our emotions and our thoughts. And everything else. Because guess what? Everything starts in the mind. I don't think. Now, I know there's some of us that are stubborn, and we don't particularly love going to the doctor. Right. But most of us, I believe in here, if not all. If we started struggling with any kind of physical ailment we would go see a professional. Correct. So why is going to talk to somebody, whether it's your pastor or a therapist or whatever, or a psychiatrist? Why is that? So different and so taboo? We go to a doctor for checkups. Some of us, hopefully, a lot of us some of us go to get our teeth cleaned once, twice a year. Right. We do that so that we don't get cavities and have to have the bigger bill and the bigger pain. Correct.

So what if some of us decided this topic wasn't so taboo and we actually went to a therapist or a pastor who was biblically counseling, you know, whatever to do, just a checkup I know I'm pushing the envelope now right because these kind of conversations is how we change the stigma of mental health, that we make it normal like it should be, that we make it OK so that our sales or people around us don't feel like there is something wrong with them. And they are either not a strong enough Christian, or maybe there's people out there with mental health illness that feel like they can't go to church and they can't be a part of the Christian faith because something is wrong with them. Your quiet prayer in Scripture. I do not want to come across here like prayer and Scripture don't matter and know. I'm not saying that at all. I have been healed by Scripture and prayer Too many times to count in my life I will tell you this though, for me, and maybe it's because I'm stubborn and I can be stubborn just as a husband and my children but there hasn't been a ton of those times where the healing came immediately Sometimes it did, but sometimes it came through a journey and sometimes often it came through prayer and scripture and other godly people that God called and put in my life to help me with that given situation. And again, I'm going to press in to say, should mental help or any kind of mental stress, we say mental illness. And again, it just sounds taboo that something is wrong with us. But any kind of mental stress somehow there's something wrong with me and that I shouldn't go see or talk about someone else.

There's chemical things that go on in your brain. I won't get into all that. I probably don't know it as well as I should, to be honest with you. Try to trust me in that. You can Google it when you get home. Because here's the other thing. How many of y'all, if you had diabetes or you had high blood pressure or you had maybe even a heart attack and your doctor told you, now we're going to push it real hard right now. Everybody hang on for me .How many of y'all would not take insulin Don't mess up my sermon. Some of us, we'd make a deal with the doctor right where we we worked on some exercise and things like that. Right. But let's say even after we did that and this happens often with diabetes and high blood pressure, I had high blood pressure when I was a skinny many in my twenties I'm getting on the medication thing. I'm not overly for medication. I'm not overly against it either, because I believe God has created and allowed us to create a lot of different things to help us and bring healing. He's still the creator. If we receive healing, it's from him. But it might be through a lot of different things, like therapy and medication. There are people that it's not just such awaken that there is a chemical reaction, an imbalance in their brain, and that coping skills and therapy can even come in and try to help with healing until they get on a little bit of medication.

And I'm here to tell you that's not a Sandy either. If it is, then all of us should quit going to the doctor or taking medication for anything and everything. Robert, would you come up here for me, please? Robert is one of the strongest men I know for real. I'm not just saying that because he's my husband, but I'm serious. Strong as an ox. Some of us understand this topic because we have struggled with diabetes. I mean, I've said diabetes, too. Many times, anxiety and depression and things of that nature. And we get it right. Some of us that are supportive in this church or in our families We have not experienced it. So we don't quite understand or get it So I'm hoping maybe a little picture here will kind of help.

OK. Can you pick that up for me, please? And hold it pick it up Not overly heavy, right? But a little All right. Let's say this. Didn't I warn you not to mess this up for me? You do have to go home with me, you know? How bout if you had to carry it around all the time? How much do you think you could get done if you had to carry that around all the time? Know that both your hands are busy like if it was on your back, how would that be? How hard and exhausting? Even better yet, how would you feel if for some reason this table was attached to you and you just there was something about it, you could not get it off of you? How would you feel if somebody just come up to you? You came to them and said, Can you help me hold or carry this table? And they looked at you and said, Just pray about it.

I think I throw the table. Anxiety and depression gets hard for people. Guys. I'm not saying that it needs to become a crutch or an excuse. I say that a lot in my office, just like we can't allow things physically. Right. We have to reach out for help and do certain things to go through this life. Right. But sometimes people need other people to carry the junk in this world. That they need. Maybe this is a good way to put it. Maybe they need somebody to flesh out that prayer and scripture to help them break free of depression and anxiety. And instead of joining alongside of them in the mark and helping them with that, just pray and quote scripture. You're just you're just not being strong enough in the Lord. Robert Shame on us. You can put it down I'm done with you. How about we go to and into Scripture? Maybe that'll help us a little more. Right. Did you know that depression and anxiety was in the Bible? Now, does it say depression and anxiety? No. But I truly believe all of us are pretty intelligent. Human beings in here, right? Some of us are smarter than others. And put me on the bottom of that list, just so you know.

But maybe, maybe Scripture can help us. OK, I believe it's up on the screen Anybody ever heard of a man named Elijah? Even some of us that maybe don't even know the whole story. We have heard of Elijah. Right. And I bet depression is not the first thing you think of when you think of Elijah. Not for most of us. I don't think We're going to start in verse 19 Now, Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely. If by this time tomorrow, I do not make your life like that of one of them. Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba and Judah, he left his servant there while he himself, when a day's journey into the wilderness, he came to a burning bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. I've had enough, Lord, he said. Take my life. I'm no better. Than my ancestors. Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep. All at once, an angel touched him and said, Get up and eat. He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. The Angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, Get up and eat for the journey is too much for you. The journey is too much for you. So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food. He traveled 40 days and 40 nights until he reached Horeb the mountain of God.

And there he went into a cave and spent the night just a little side note here. You notice that the angel didn't just say, Get up, go back to work. Do the ministry What's wrong with you? The angel didn't say, Just pray and quote some scripture He ministered. The angel ministered to a large, did he not? He rested not once told him to rest, not once, but twice. And here's a few other things for you to remember in this context. Elijah first king. 17 and 18. Read it when you get home. He called down Fire from heaven. He called for rain to stop and then to start. And in between, he raised a boy from the dead. Yet when Jezebel threatened him, he settled under a tree and he pretty much prayed a suicide prayer if you struggle with anxiety, depression, or even just if you want to just call it emotional stress, guess what?

You're in good company you go throughout and read the stories in scripture. There's a ton more. Not just Elijah are we vulnerable and transparent enough to allow others to minister to us, maybe even a Christian therapist I guess. What? Sorry, y'all. Y'all don't have a big excuse because y'all got a shepherding pastor that's a pastor and a therapist. You don't have any excuse if you don't want to see me. I know a lot. I know a lot of different Christian therapists you don't have to tell me nothing, just that you want to see somebody and I can get you several names and we won't even go into our marriages right somehow we would rather take the chance of our marriage ending than going to somebody and admitting that there are some hard issues that we're struggling with and getting somebody to help us what about Jesus?

I'll just go ahead and be transparent. I got in a little trouble one time in a talk I'm I'll be careful. I try to remember Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus who was man and God and God. What did he pray he asked God to take the cup from him. He didn't just jump up and down and say, woo hoo, I won't be crucified. I got this Lord. I'm just going to quote Scripture and pray he said, if it'll be your we'll take it from me. And he was so stressed and consumed the Son of God that he bled he sweat drops of blood. Google it is the cycle logical issue that comes out in a physical, physiological way. It is brought on by severe stress I'm not saying Jesus was depressed. However, I am going to say this what I started out with, even if he was he didn't sin let's say he just went through stressful stuff and he didn't just go to God. He went to the disciples and said, Hey, can you help me? Can you pray He had to have said, This is a lot.

I'm stressed. I got stuff going on right what about when he went 40 days and 40 nights without eating I don't think that was fun for him. I struggle too fast for Dog on day he had to have been mentally stressed and we see in Scripture that he had to rest, and I believe it that it says Angels ministered to him the son of God needed help guess what? Believers. I believe that makes it OK for us to we see in two different places in Mark, 630, one in Matthew, 14, 22 and 23 that he went alone to rest there's a very good chance he was physically tired. I also believe he was very mentally tired. He needed to get away. He didn't just get away with the disciples. It said he went away alone.

And then what about seeing again a point of therapy when David did what he did with Bathsheba, Nathan came to him and told him a little story some of us, it might help us to see a therapist or at least somebody else. Because we're struggling with stuff in life habits that we know are sinful, that we're struggling with laying down. And we need somebody else, not just us alone with scripture and prayer, but we need somebody else that maybe is a little clearer at the time. Not better than just a little clearer that the Holy Spirit can work through them to tell us and help us see something that we need to figure out and do and work on it. And again, I tell you, it is God working through that person to heal you just for understanding. Let's let's put up the definitions we're going to talk about just a couple real quickly regarding high impact mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, trauma, depression is defined as feelings of dejection and hopelessness and hopelessness that lasts more than two weeks an easy way to put it, I think that's easier for everybody to understand.

Is depression causing issues in your day to day life? Is it hard to go to work? Is it hard to get out of bed? Are you isolating yourself? Are you angry and edgy? I'll and it's building. It's not getting better. And it's causing issues in your marriage or relationships with your kids, going to work, going to church, being social all those things then it might be time to seek out somebody just in between. Now, before I go into anxiety, I truly believe I talk a lot about this in my office. I think self-esteem and our identity in Christ has a lot to do with. I don't dare to say a lot of the diagnoses that we have mentally. I'm not saying that that fixes everything, but if we come to truly know and believe who we are in Christ, it makes it a lot harder for anxiety and depression to eat away at us constantly. Because it just makes sense that it makes it harder for Satan to mess with us in those areas or others. If I truly know who I am and Christ Anxiety defined as debilitating feelings of fear. So you have GAD, which is generalized anxiety disorder. You have OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder, panic disorder, and then post-traumatic stress disorder.

A lot of times if you're having any kind of anxiety and panic attacks, this might be an area where you might need a little bit of medication to help you while you're in therapy to learn certain coping skills that are going to help you work through those things. And again, I believe and know that is not a sin it's hard to live having a panic attack also just no anxiety and depression can really play off each other. A lot of people who have anxiety have some level of depression and that makes sense. Almost like we saw with Robert and this fright, anxiety and being fearful and anxious all the time gets real tiring and so that leads into being sad, depressed, our body and our mind cannot hold. But so much I use this example in my office.

You all know them all to me. Some of us still use them. The old timey teakettle. How am I to use this in a sermon before? So I apologize if I'm repeating myself. You all know what I'm talking about. Some might not, so I know you won't agree you know it's got that little flapper on it, right? What is the flapper for?

Yeah. What happens if it gets stuck right? Guess what. All of us in here are not made much different. There has to be a release at some time, especially mentally. And emotionally. If they're not, you're going to explode in some kind of way. I can almost guarantee you and what people forget is that sometimes mental help comes out in very different ways for a lot of different people. Sometimes it's not a panic attack or sometimes it's seen I need a release and maybe I become addicted to porn or maybe my self-esteem is so low and I haven't gotten any kind of work on it that I find myself needing attention from other people constantly. And that causes me trouble in my relationships and in my marriage. That's mental. That's emotional. Suicidal ideation versus suicidal. Suicidal ideation is when it stays just as thoughts and there's no plan or action if you ever get in a situation with someone who's talking about thoughts of wanting to harm themselves, that's one of your biggest things that is helpful. If you can figure that out is that just some thoughts? But they have no real plan or intent in harming themselves. That's ideation. They still probably need to see a therapist but especially when we get into plan in a tent, it becomes a safety issue. And I have lots of people, family members, pastors, who they don't want to cross this line because they don't want to mess up relationships or start a big thing or somebody to dislike them. Well, guess what?

I'd rather somebody dislike me a little and stay alive. And I've had to counsel some of those people to I've had spouses crying found their spouse. Dad knew there was an issue, and because that spouse begged them not to say or do anything or even some of my parents in my office who found their child dead, and because it's hard for us parents to face that our children are struggling that way, we kind of do this and when you're talking about suicidal ideation, we're taking a big chance I'd rather somebody be a little mad at me and then stay alive and me help them get the help they need than to worry about them being angry at me.

That's kind of selfish because then it becomes about me instead of them so again, intent and plan. Are they safe? Don't be afraid to ask Pat, a lot of family members in my office that family members have committed suicide and they said I knew something was off and I just wish that I asked. I know it feels really weird. I'm a therapist and it's hard for me and my office sometimes to ask but I think it's one of the best things we can do with each other. Are you having thoughts of harming yourself? And some of us leaders, we get into this idea that if I send them to a therapist that I'm you know, I'm not being involved and I'm not helping. For us parents, sometimes it's somehow I failed as a parent. Again, I just told you, sometimes a chemical imbalance sometimes is they got bullied at school and they didn't even tell you so don't be afraid to ask, notify somebody. Don't hold it on your own. Somebody reach out to somebody seek professional help.

Just so you know, you can take someone to any emergency room and they'll do a mental health evaluation in a e.R. And I should have put this up here and i forgot. There's also in Guilford County, a place that if somebody's struggling in any kind of way mentally and you're worried about them or your family or yourself, you can call that number and those people will come to you and do an assessment and help you figure out what to do when to seek professional help. Here's some here's some topics that I feel like are really good or important that you probably need to reach out issues drastically interfering with day to day life if they're long going with no change, even for yourself. If you feel like you've been battling sadness and you just can't seem to break it suicidality cutting I hear a lot of people tell me, well, with our young people, isn't cutting just wanting attention? Maybe but if somebody is willing to harm their physical body for attention, don't you still think there's an issue trauma eating disorders, eating disorders can get extremely dangerous really, really quickly.

Abuse, severe mental illness, severe mental illness. Meaning if somebody starts seeing some things or that kind of stuff, if they get into a paranoid place where they feel like everybody and anything is out to get them, those are some things that I think are really good for you to reach out for help on. And again, you don't have to give me all the details, but I don't mind being a resource and I don't have to be the one that helps. I don't mind doing that either. But I don't mind just helping coming up with some solutions and some answers and some names and some places either manual or quiet. Here's some things to encourage people while you're figuring some things out who would miss you? We're still, I'm sure, with some reality. Who would miss you? I know I would miss you.

And it would hurt me how would your family feel? Not in a guilt trip way, but reminding them of people that love them what do you want to do? If it's a young person? What do you want to do when you get older? Or if it's an adult? What are some future things that you brainstorm with them? Do you have thoughts of wanting to do something different in your profession? Do you have children? Do you have grandchildren? Don't you want to, you know, be a part of those things? Speaking God purpose into their life is a good thing to do. Because God has a purpose for every single one of us. Good questions, open ended questions, not yes or no. That makes it real easy. And sometimes we we purposely want to ask questions that end in a yes or no because again, it makes it a little easier for us. And I admit, like, I don't want to sound like this is just easy and you should do it. It's hard to hold some of this stuff but again, I want to remind us as believers, I believe we're called to try to help and hold some of this stuff what do you want? It's amazing to me how some of us get aggravated and we forget to simply ask a person what they want right? How do you feel? I know it's such a taboo, therapeutic kind of thing. But it can tell you a lot. I like this one. The miracle question if you woke up tomorrow and everything or different things in your life were different, what would you change?

What would be different because here's the other thing. Some of us that are struggling in these areas, we get we it gets so cloudy up here after having depression and anxiety for so long that we're not even sure. And so to help have somebody help us, especially somebody trained to help us think through exactly what we are thinking and feeling, sometimes that's all somebody needs to sometimes therapy is a venting session with somebody outside of your bubble that has no buy into what's going on in your world. That I can just bear to. And I don't have to worry about them judging me or being too worried about me. Or telling my boss reassure everyone that we care and love them and just want to help next steps for our church. We need a referral list, maybe even in a way on our website or something where you don't even have to come to me if you don't want to. Where we have two or three names and numbers of Christian therapists or biblical counselors that somebody can pick up the phone and call it needs to be a budget line in our budget if we're serious about it.

A lot of people don't go to therapy because they can't afford it. And yes, there are issues with that in my field. That's a whole nother topic.Training for staff. Our staff need to make sure that they understand how to answer these questions because staff and our board, we're some of the ones that are going to get asked, maybe more so than others, and we need to be prepared and know that we're able to answer those questions or at least who we can get a hold of very quickly to help us answer those questions. Preaching on mental health, normalizing it the worship team will come back up they're going to sing a song that I asked them to sing It's a prayer, and I might actually pray it over us before they start singing. I want you to really pay attention to the words and listen to it again. I want to make sure that I'm not coming across some of y'all might need to come to the altar this morning or pray in your seats.

You don't have to come up here. Sometimes I think it's good again to have some. I pray and with you but some of us need to lay this down at the altar and ask God to heal us or show us how to be healed. Jesus Christ died on the cross the way He did for us to live riddled with anxiety and depression. He did not and there is healing that can be found and sometimes it's some of us coming up here and praying. I've gotten a little weak, Lord, in this. This has become heavy. And I understand I want healing, but maybe this is a journey for whatever reason. So strengthen me in this journey. Give me wisdom. If I need to seek out a therapist, give me wisdom to be accountable to somebody about what's going on in my mind, in my heart, help me to fight off the thoughts with Satan that somehow I'm a less than Christian or that I can't be a Christian because of these things.

Yeah, I don't know if y'all in the oh out there are thinking about what she said today. But we've called Vanessa a few times and she gave us a good recommendation for somebody to talk to. Christina I've been married almost 22 years. Me 22 years. Next month we go to sea. We grew up in a church that that was positive toward counseling and therapy and mental health that actually ended up having a marriage counselor, not necessarily all staff, but that they came, they let them use the building, use a facility. They would refer people to them so even from when we were first married, we would go and see a counselor every few years. It's good to talk to somebody, to get through things, work some things, to have somebody to bounce things off of. Because you think about in your marriage, you know, you're bringing your values, your your upbringing, everything that came along with the way that you were brought up.

And your spouse is bringing in everything that they brought, you know, their value system, their beliefs, the way that they fold their laundry, all of that. You know how you squeeze which end of the toothbrushes. It's toothpaste. You squeeze it. They're bringing all that from there in. Excuse me. Sorry, I'm trying to get through this and you're and you're making something new. And so often in our relationships, we tend to, you know, try to side, you know, one side with one side of the family, one side with the other. Our in-laws sometimes pit things against us, either on purpose or by accident. It's just the nature of being human. And then our kids come into the mix. And that is a whole other story. So we've been through several, several sessions and several things over the years. We had a dear friend that was a marriage counselor that we went to he went to be with the Lord a few years ago. So we called up Vanessa when we came to one church and we said, We need somebody. And she gave us somebody. He's great.

He's not necessarily for everybody, but if you need somebody to talk to, if you know somebody who needs somebody to talk to, call this woman. She will protect your confidentiality. She will protect everything that you tell her. She will protect that. And now that we're in this new journey, we've taken on some children who are staying with us during this time, we're foster and we said we need to talk to somebody. And he has helped us tremendous sleep. He brought up things that we didn't even we thought we dealt with, things that we didn't even know we had to deal with. And it was it's just amazing. It's just amazing to have that opportunity. Somebody who knows Pastor Ryan is incredible, but he can't handle everything that we try to bring to him.

He's not equipped he doesn't have the training. He has the calling and the vision. By God, he has the gifting. But he's also surrounded himself with people who are gifted and trained and have a calling on them as well that we can depend on them for. So I just encourage you, if you have a question, even if there's any question whatsoever, should you talk to somebody? Thank I think we got to have. Yeah. Yeah. Go because it's hard, right, to share stories about things. And let me make it very clear, I'm a therapist that has a therapist OK. All right. And for accountability partners, again, I'm just telling you, I have to have a lot of help I want to pray this over us, and then they're going to sing it especially for mental health, because it was our topic.

If you've struggled with anything like that, the altars open. Pray in your seat. If you want to ask for wisdom. But this prayer goes over a lot of things. So I really I ask you to to really hear the words of this this prayer song. And if you're stressed, if you're you're you're struggling mentally and emotionally, on the altar, and the Lord is always, always a great place to start speak the name of Jesus over you and you're hurting and your sorrow I will ask my God to move.

I speak the name because it's all that I can do. In desperation, I'll see Kevin and pray this for you. I pray for your healing that circumstances would change. I prayed that the fear inside would flee in Jesus name. I prayed that a breakthrough would happen. Today, I pray miracles over your life in Jesus name I speak the name of all authority declaring blessings every promise He is faithful to keep I speak the name no grave could ever hold. He is greater. He is stronger. He's the God of possible. I pray for your healing. That circumstances would change. I pray that the fear inside would flee in Jesus name. I pray that a breakthrough would happen today. I pray miracles over your life in Jesus name. Come believe it, come receive it. Oh, the power of his spirit is now forever yours. Come believe it, come receive it In the mighty name of Jesus. All things are possible I pray that the dead will come alive in Jesus name In Jesus name.

Again reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of wisdom of good stewardship of your mind and your body for your own sake, for the sake of the gospel and those around you because they are affected by your stress as well, even if you don't think that you're bad enough to need it. An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure. So reach out to someone who is a trained Christian professional that can help give you the tools to sort through it. If you come up to the front, you know, I'm sure there'll be plenty of prayers over you, and I think that that's a good step one for that good counselor.