Deeper Wk 7- Intimacy
Father. You were king. They wrote in the book of Songs that everything has breast Praise the Lord.
In a season where there's a pandemic, where it's taking the very breath that we have to breathe. I am reminded that we have breath to praise you. You alone? Are so great. Is the Lord and worthy of our praises.
To Father this morning who we are your children. We call upon your holy name, Father. We pray for miracles. We pray for signs and wonders. Father, we pray for those who may not feel loved in this season. God, we pray for that individual who has lost hope because in your word, God, you says that come to me all who are weary and heavy laden those who have burdens that that you would give rest for father, you accept we will take your yoke and learn from you because you are gentle and humble at heart and father that we can find rest in our King and in our Savior God when his world is guys going crazy.
God, we have trust in you and you alone.
So, Father, we cast down our crew, our crowns, and we lift up your name on high a holy name, a holy God of God that is set apart So, Heavenly Father, I pray I pray for those who, at the sound of my voice, I pray for our community. I pray for this city. I pray for this nation. But, Father, I pray that this world may no you father had your way this morning.
We seek out hallelujah.
Father, we make you a person. My hallelujah belongs to you.
My father. We thank you, God.
The Father. I pray that you will increase right now. As I decrease, I pray that I will say nothing more, nothing less. That transformation would begin to take place. That we will leave this place got better then we will retain came and we give you all the glory and all the honor. And let the church say. A man, a man a man, a man family.
We are still in a six part series of deeper the past several weeks, the past month and a half, we've only hit three of the six points that I really want to talk about. We talked about being deeper in the Holy Spirit. We talked about being deeper in prayer, that our prayer life has to go to another level.
And I begin to wonder, like, why am I experienced in all this, this strife, in this affliction? And then God reminded me, said, Ray, if you wanted to go deeper in me, I'm a call, some problem in your life, some problems in your life, so that where you can seek me in a different way and I'm like, God, okay, you know, this is all good.
And then we talked about being deeper community last week, and we know that the Holy Spirit is the agent and the person that has that God has sent that Jesus Christ left to accomplish to work through the New Testament church and through the world. And I reminded that you remind you today that all of us has been endowed with the Holy Spirit.
We have professed Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. And because you have access to the Holy Spirit, that you have a gift or gifts that He's giving you, some encourage you every week that you use your gifts that you don't sit on your assets. Amen. Take it as you leave it. Either way, you want to see that we're not sitting on our asses.
Those those opportunities that God has given us that are gifts for service and their status that we must be intentional about building community. So if you have your Bibles, turn with me to the book of Psalms Chapter 37 and it's literally right in the middle of it. Just open it up in the middle. I'm sure you either hit Proverbs or Psalms.
You'll get there. Psalm Chapter 37. And I'll be reading from the King James version. I wanted to go old school today.
Can I go to school today? All right. If not, bear with me. King James version verse three. In a word or the word of the Lord says, Trust in the Lord and do good. So shall thou dwell in the land. And verily Thou shalt be said, delight thyself also in the Lord, and He shall give the the desires of dying heart commit thy way unto the Lord.
Trust also in Him. He shall bring it to pass and he will bring forth thy righteousness as thy as the light and die judgment as the noonday breath rest in the Lord Does anybody need rest today?
Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him. Fret not thyself, because of Him who prosperous in his way, because of the man who bring his wicked devices to pass. If you don't like King Jimmy, I'm going to go Navy for you for a quick second. We're reading the Navy version. If you don't like King James, trust in the Lord and do good, dwell into the land and enjoy safe pasture take delight in the Lord and He would give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord. Trust in Him and he would do this. He will make your righteous reward. Shine like the dawn and your vindication like noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. Do not fret when people succeed in their ways when they carry out their wicked schemes. And so today, because it's Valentine's Day, I figured that I will bring a message specifically for our deeper series in the name of my lesson today is call friends with benefits friends.
I said with benefits, hashtag FWB. I know what I'm talking about. Don't trip and no, I'm not talking about let's Netflix let you or let me come through or have a steady buddy and just get it out or just laugh or quick. It's all good.
I'm talking about going deeper into intimacy with God.
Deeper in your intimacy with God.
You made me wonder how is Pastor Ryan is going to turn in with friends with benefits. Just watching There's a theme all throughout the Bible and we serve a God who desires to have a deeper relationship with his children.
That's why we've been spending a month and a half and going deeper, because the God of this universe, of God, of Isaac and Abraham desires to have a deeper relationship with us.
We see this in Jeremiah Chapter 32, where he says, I will be there, God, and they will be my people. I got a call forgive. I'm the Savior. David, Brian, Jeremiah, Chapter 24 says this I will give them a heart to know me that I am the Lord. They will be my people and I will be there God, for they will return to me with all of their heart imagine that there's a theme from Genesis to Revelation.
From the very beginning of time, we see where God wants to do life with His people. He wants to walk and talk and commune with His creation in the book of Genesis, we see that God was walking and dwelling in the Garden of Eden. One second come on, Satan, I'm giving you notice even in the Garden of Eden, we see where there's a broken relationship.
But God says a plan in place he says, the plan in place by the name of by the man of Jesus Christ. Even when we turned our backs on God, he still desires to have a relationship with you. And I even when we walk out on him, he desires to have a relationship with you. And I God desires a level of intimacy with you.
He doesn't want to casually date you. He wants to abide and dwell with you. The future date in relationship with God right now. Cut it off commit to Him. Commit to His ways. Commit to the way that He desires to walk with you and talk with you. See, we see this even in the New Testament today. We see with the prodigal son.
We see where the father wants to have a relationship with his son, but he says has no I desire to have everything that is owed to me by you. Father, give me everything that you say that you have inherited, that I have inherited. And I want it now. See, that relationship was transactional and God doesn't want to have a transactional relationship with you.
He wants to have a living and breathing relationship with you. And so the Suns believe the prodigal son believes that he can do better. He can do better than serving his father in walking and doing life with his father.
So he sets out to conquer the world. The prodigal son walks out with his inheritance and leaves his father's house. But then but then the son realizes he had to return home so he he realized that the world and his desires conquered him that he had a better life in his father's house.
But the beauty of this story is that the father is always watching and waiting for his son to return. Just like your heavenly father's watching and waiting for you to return if you have drifted away, he's waiting. He wants you to come back home. See, we pursue everything else in life except the pursuit of God.
We pursue our jobs, we pursue our careers, we pursue higher education. We even pursue relationships but our pursuit of God is more important than our jobs. Our families money, fame, our social status, our likes, and a number of followers that we may have in social media. Too many of us today were hurting and wanted to get rid of that pain and get rid of our problems.
But God says you need to go deeper you need to have a deeper relationship with me. I need a deeper relationship with you. See your pain even in your pain. God wants you to pursue, even in your temptation. God wants you for some, even when you feel stuck. God wants you to pursue Him. Even when you want that next fix, God will say, Pursue me even before you go to that next website that God is seeing the click away from.
He says, Pursue me, my child.
For you shopaholics who get Amazon boxes week after week. He says, Pursue me for those who indulge themselves in food. He say, Pursue me in all that you do. Pursue God and begin to develop a deeper intimacy with Christ.
Verse for says This is Psalm Chapter 37. It says, Delight yourself in the Lord and He would give you the desires of your heart.
Delight yourself in the Lord. He would give you the desires of your heart. So what if the desire to rob a bank right does align it with God? What if you you desire to curse someone out especially when it cuts you off at this stop sign right here, a man. Come on, somebody I don't know how many times I pull into the church and I'm driving and somebody thinks to have the body with him, I'm like, Do you have a stop sign?
I'm like, Jesus, take the wheel. Y'all know what I'm talking about?
Let's be a little bit more realistic. What if this is a new Jordan? Is those new J's right or new Louis Vuitton? How about a husband or wife or children? See, in chapter 37, David was encouraging us to maintain a proper relationship with God.
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He would give you the desires of your heart.
The Scripture by itself means more than just that. So we just can't read Scripture or just take one verse and then make it make it theology. You have to read it in context, see in verse three, verse five, it says this verse three tells us, it says, Trust trust. Verse four says delight. Verse five says, commit you must trust God the light in the Lord and then commit.
You have to read those scriptures together to get the fullness of what the Scriptures is talking about. So what are you saying? To clarify the desires that God is saying, if you're walking in harmony with me, if you are walking in rhythm with me, if you are in step with me, in other words, that my desires become your desires, my ways become your ways.
So when we trust them, when we delight, and when we commit them, God would give us the desires of your heart. See, John, Chapter 14 says this You may ask me for anything in my name, and I would do that if you love me, says keep my commandments. See, this is not a naming and claiming gospel. This is how to get rich, how to get quick, and how to get rich quick.
Gospel See, our asking has to be according to God's character and God's will.
So what you're asking for does not line up with His will or his character or even his nature. Then we can't use Scripture as a magic formula to get what you want is now. No Abracadabra type of thing. No, there's none of that So how do we go deep in our faith in the gospel to support James Psalms, Chapter 37 and Mahalia James Chapter four, verse eight.
And this this is what James chapter four verse drawn near to God, and he would draw near to you, cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your heart.
So if you begin to draw near to God, he draw near city, this is what this is what I want you to get proximity matters your proximity would determine your intimacy Let me say that one more time. Your proximity would determine your intimacy Selma, keep this PG 13. You can't be intimate if you're far apart. Amen.
Let it marinate a little bit your proximity. How close you're walking and abiding and doing life and living in the Gospels. Do we have to position ourselves to set your way to hear God's voice? Because proximity matters. Intimacy cannot happen without proximity. How close you are to God truly matters.
John Chapter 15 says this abiding me and I will abiding you as it branches cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine. Neither can you. Unless you abide in me. It says I am the vine and you are the branches. He who abides in me and I in him bears much fruit It's in our abiding is where we begin to have that intimate relationship with the Heavenly Father.
Then he says, If you abide in me, and my words abiding you, then then whatever you desire shall be done. So how do you achieve intimacy? Right? How do you begin to grow in intimacy? There's five things I just want to highlight real quick that never really talks about growing our relationship with Christ. Study His Word You have to city his word.
Many people say, You gonna go to church and get a get a fresh word and going to tell you right now if you're basing your Christian relationship on what you're getting every single Sunday, you're missing out because if we just expect me to teach you, everything is not going to happen. That's not why I'm here. I'm here to encourage and develop and build you up and bring you to a point where you have the desire to help you to see what God is calling to do in your life, to help you live that out in such a way.
If you want a fresh word by new Bible read if you want a fresh word by fresh new brand spanking new Bible, that's about the fresh he's going to get because you can't get a fresh word if you're not living in the over from yesterday.
Second, hear his word We talked about this last week, not forsaking the assembly of ourselves together. Building community That's where you begin to hear the Word of God when you begin to do community with other people, other believers, hear their testimony, hear what God is doing in their lives.
God has built us, has developed us to really live in community. So if you're not connected to to a church, even if it's not one church, if you're not connected to a church, you're doing life outside of Sunday morning. You're missing out. You're missing out so much. Now, I can I can I can measure the growth in the development of those who are connecting with us midweek.
I literally see how strong they are growing with their walk with God.
We have to make sure that God is a priority It's tight, but his right to pray, his word we know because prayer is our most important and greatest weapon. We have to pray, pray his word share his word because intimacy is a two way conversation.
Intimacy is a two way conversation you can bring those sutures out for. I'm a bring out my I'm do something different today. I'm going to bring out my best friend in all the world, galaxy universe and see green. Come on. Don't miss him.
Oh, no, no. Of the self. Do not those tears. Sorry. Yeah, and grab your mic Being that is Valentine's, I wanted to kind of do a twofold message. I wanted to kind of really talk about intimacy. And building that with with Christ, but then also wanted to kind of build another layer of intimacy and just kind of talk about the judges eat it.
Yeah, I just kind of tripped a little bit. Come on down. I call myself out. Don't worry. We will talk about relationships 19 years Lord. 19. Can I get 19 more I'm going to say this intimacy is more than just sex.
Right. I'm going to keep it PG 13. I'm a trying Lord knows I'm a try. Intimacy is more than just sex.
And I want you to see this way. Intimacy is basically singing in to me you see do you get that as we are in relationship with one another the level of intimacy that I see if Alicia not her beauty, your curls are popping the glasses, all of that, you know, that's, that's, that's the benefit. But to see the cooler who she is and the Christ that lives in her because this if I can touch the inner part of the intimacy of Alicia, everything else becomes friends.
With benefits. Can I get an amen?Out of here? Some married folks so listen, don't be surprised. And we didn't rehearses. So this is unscripted.
What is what is intimacy for a female or give us your perspective your perspective on intimacy on relationships. I agree that it is not sex. It's not just sex.
And I will say from a biblical perspective for a husband and a wife that I believe that my intense intimacy with Christ should be reflected in our relationship in other words, if if I don't have that intimacy with him, it's probably going to be a little hard for me to have that with you, because for me to be open to him means that I can be open to you.
00:27:23:36 - 00:27:33:48
Unknown
That's good. So it's a vertical, not a horizontal. Because once you are vertical. Yes. The benefits horizontal. Yes, that's good. That's good.
00:27:36:02 - 00:28:14:20
Unknown
And so what would you say the struggles for many people may be for reaching that level? Of intimacy in a relationship are some roadblocks on the senior people just. Yes, for married people or just in relationships, their relationships I would probably say a lack of spending time cultivating that relationship just as you said before, if we're looking to just get it one day out of the week best and that's not going to do it.
00:28:15:25 - 00:28:38:49
Unknown
And I'm even two days out of the week I know we talk a lot about being here on Sunday and Wednesday, but what about Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday? We have other days in there and we still need to be cultivating that relationship. And so it's it's an everyday thing that we have to pursue. As you were talking about, it's not something that's going to just happen.
00:28:40:28 - 00:29:00:04
Unknown
And so, yeah, so we talked about how intimacy is a two way conversation you know, back in my day, growing up in our in our day, we said be on this thing as just be hanging a wall you to hang over here and you can pick it up and go way down here with it. Talk on to telephone.
00:29:00:16 - 00:29:24:07
Unknown
Oh, and then you have a cord going through one room to another room because you don't want to have the conversation from your parents. Right. My mom's over here, so she know what I'm talking about. You got an exit. So we spend time like ours all the. Oh, here. So you say cake in that. You know what it is or Mac.
00:29:24:07 - 00:29:56:58
Unknown
And what do you guys you say now? Spit it out. Just yell at you. Okay, cool. Yes. Yeah. So we the courtship that we do with that person because the ultimate goal is to get intimate with the individual, right? And over that course, we learn from each other our likes and dislikes, our desires. And we will spend hours to the point where you be like this on the phone.
00:29:58:05 - 00:30:27:05
Unknown
Did anybody fall asleep talking to a male or female on a phone and your mom or your dad will come into the bedroom? It's like, boy, what's worse, hey, no phone up because you just read it right So talk about just building that relationship over the course of time and what the what that looks like. So um, I definitely I think that that definitely means, of course, you have to spend that time.
00:30:27:45 - 00:30:54:18
Unknown
Um, and when we're talking about the relationship you know, with our father, um, it's so important that we spend time in his word. But if we spend time in his word, we have to apply application and so as I start to learn about him, about you, there are things that I need to start applying put into practice. Right?
00:30:54:45 - 00:31:28:19
Unknown
And sometimes that's more difficult than we want it to be. We want it to be a little easier, but sometimes it's not because that means sometimes lying to myself for that relationship, for you, for, you know. And so so dying to self in a relationship is probably the most hard, the hardest thing as individuals. When you wouldn't you agree?
00:31:28:19 - 00:31:52:41
Unknown
Yes, I would say. And so at least now when we do counseling or coaching, whatever you want to kind of go through, whatever we you know, you want to call it, we typically highlight five things to really develop or we say that there are or bridges or gaps or things that would dismantle the intimacy between individual. We call them 25 if you want to talk about this like this.
00:31:53:44 - 00:32:40:48
Unknown
So family friends, your finances, your flesh and your faith, and when we walk couples to this, this is it like our premarital counseling or even just counseling as a whole. We talk about any one of those five matrix will make or break your relationship because that because you know, if you allow your family to come in and create division, if you allow financial problems to come in and sit in, if you allow your flesh, if you guys are not on one accord about how to do the degree allegedly to do this, are you going to do so?
00:32:41:19 - 00:33:10:52
Unknown
Your faith? If you are practicing two different faiths, you are not equally yoked. You have to be fair. But then your friends typically, once you get married, you leave, some friends, you leave, there's maybe some friends you need to leave behind. And maybe some family members need to leave behind to better perfect their relationship that you have with one another.
00:33:11:20 - 00:33:37:03
Unknown
And even in our faith with being believers, I think we can still be unequally yoked in terms of where we are and our relationship with Christ. And that can be a struggle for, you know, Ron and I know we've been married well almost 20 years now. I think I know it'll be 20 this year. I have to say I was 20 oh.
00:33:37:23 - 00:34:05:24
Unknown
And so yeah, there were times that we weren't always in the same place. And how do you handle that when you're in different places? And even in your walk, you know, just trying to navigate through. Yeah, how do we handle that type of thing. Yeah. So we're going to, this is scary. We're going to give you guys an opportunity to pose questions if you like.
00:34:06:54 - 00:34:32:04
Unknown
And so on. My ex can do to grab a bite from the sage or quake or and we have a runner to run. So if you feel free, this is a time where you want to just ask the question number eight relationship goes or we're not professionals by any means, but we have a desire to see relationships do well.
00:34:36:27 - 00:35:06:23
Unknown
One brave. So thank you so I have a question when it comes to couples. So like you said, so what what would you guys recommend? Let's say if you know 111 person is, you know, anti-God, you know, study in this word and everything, but the other person is lacking what you know, of course, pray for them. But what, what what would you recommend that would take it?
00:35:07:20 - 00:35:29:40
Unknown
You know, if I can't think go well, there's a scripture that comes to mind. And I'm trying to think if it is specifically two wives or I would say it would be to any spouse that is speaks of living a life before that person in front of them that speaks about Christ, that we're not we don't make them about where they are, where they're not in Christ.
00:35:29:44 - 00:36:04:23
Unknown
We live it out in front of them. That's the scripture that comes to mind it because what's going to happen is that eventually light shines in the darkness. Your life will shine so much that they know something is different and then at one point, prayerfully, they will want to they would desire like, Man, I want what you have because I see Christ glowing is shining in you in such a way that I need to do something different because I want what you have.
00:36:04:46 - 00:36:24:40
Unknown
And that's every believer by many people. When you walk to work or you go to work and people see you, that your life and your lifestyle is such a way that light. I want what you have. Well, how can you have joy in the midst of your sorrow? Because I'm tapped into something that you're not tapped into, or I have a level of relationship with Christ that that you may not be there just yet.
00:36:25:05 - 00:36:33:47
Unknown
And so, yeah, and patience. A lot of patience. Another question. Any other questions?
00:36:39:45 - 00:36:41:17
Unknown
Pray. Yes. Keep them coming.
00:36:46:08 - 00:37:18:09
Unknown
I thought of another word, and that's forgiveness and how important that is. I don't know if it's a question or not, but maybe you could just talk about the importance of forgiveness in relationships, intimacy, how it affects all of that. Because it's hard sometimes it's hard to it, right? Even if it don't feel good. And we're called not to keep remembering you know, to forgive and but anyway, that's very good.
00:37:18:09 - 00:37:55:19
Unknown
Yes. We had to add that, too. Yes, I like that because that's that's like my thing is forgive quickly. Don't even listen to try not to even let it linger, because the longer we let that unforgiveness linger, it drives a wedge and it separates. And that's exactly what the enemy wants to do. And so, yes, it's how how how do you allow intimacy in when there's unforgiveness, resentment and all of the things that can come in between two people in a relationship and a covenant that that's super important I say forgive quickly and keep forgiving.
00:37:55:41 - 00:38:34:59
Unknown
And that's very hard as humans in this flesh, because sometimes we do we keep we keep tally about what we're doing. And thank God that God doesn't do that. He says, How many times are we to forgive? 70 times seven. Yes. And so that's what he requires of us and that's what he knows best. And I know we feel it when we know that there's something there that we have not brought before the Lord and we have not forgiven each other for we can tell when something's gone down.
00:38:35:15 - 00:39:09:20
Unknown
Yeah. So even in that, sometimes when we forgive the other person, they're still in parole right through. Can I use that to because, like, you know, we reconcile today, you you said that you forgiven me, but I'm still on parole. Is that true forgiveness is not. But we have to understand that even in that forgiving, forgiving state that the memory is still there, and that's a process by itself.
00:39:10:08 - 00:39:17:10
Unknown
And God just have to continue just to heal and restore all of that because we suffer God that can do it.
00:39:19:26 - 00:39:42:59
Unknown
So this is something you've talked about up here on this platform, and I'll just bring it up because it was something that has affected our marriage that we have to walk through and that was you talking about pornography when. Yes. And so that was something that we had to walk through in our marriage. And probably still, you know, even now have to continue to walk through that.
00:39:43:59 - 00:40:13:19
Unknown
And so even in that, you know, I thank God for brand new mercies every morning because we can't you know, unfortunately, you know, unfortunately, God does forgive us immediately. Right. Unfortunate the consequences of our sin, you know, even things that we did before we got married, because God knows what he's talking about when he says to not do certain things and we don't figure it out until it's too late because we don't want to do what he asks us to do.
00:40:13:41 - 00:40:43:25
Unknown
And so even that very important thing of keeping ourselves until we get married and not just ourselves physically, but even the things that you allow to go on your your your ears and your eyes, the things you watch, you know, people may think, okay, well, I'm not physically having sex with somebody, but, you know, I'm watching something that's just as bad because it opens up it it just opens up something that doesn't that need to be open and then when you go into marriage and you do you trying to figure out why am I having these issues in this area?
00:40:43:39 - 00:41:05:56
Unknown
Well, is because we opened up something that we should not have. And so even for that, you know, I think we have to forgive quickly because, you know, we're bringing, you know, even for. Right. And now we both brought a lot of baggage into our marriage. And so sifting through that baggage is sometimes very painful. But we have to sift through it.
00:41:05:56 - 00:41:29:24
Unknown
We have to figure out what's going on. And so, yeah, you have to you have the radical bow about your relationship, not only your relationship with Christ, but your relationship with your spouse. You know, we gave the story where we got when we first got married, we got rid of all of our CDs, our secular CDs. I mean, we talk about some good music because we, you know, the things that we there are certain songs that you can it's thrilling.
00:41:29:24 - 00:41:59:35
Unknown
Like, oh, it's about to go on right they just get it right. And so there's certain songs that you want to play to kind of set the mood, to set the atmosphere you know, just like who. But before we were married, we had previously been in a relationship that we set mood and we didn't want those to be triggers for those individuals because we wanted to redeem and restore, renew our minds about some new relationships.
00:41:59:35 - 00:42:34:37
Unknown
And so we had to be radical, radical everything was gone. I'm like, Man, but what we have now surpasses everything else. Yeah, and so you have to be radical in what you want in Christ, what you want with your spouse. Or do whatever is necessary. If you have a problem with your let's call devices, get a flip phone I'm telling you the truth.
00:42:36:02 - 00:42:58:30
Unknown
How radical? Why do you need a phone? Make a phone call. Right. Text message. They still have flip phones get radical about your walk with God. If this is a distraction for you, if it's a Hindu, it get radical. Any other questions real quick?
00:43:02:04 - 00:43:36:02
Unknown
And let me just say, while he's getting the microphone, as you're talking about intimacy and I know, you know, even for the things that we have the things that have been a challenge in our life, even, you know, our sex life to be here 20 years later because one thing we do know is sex did not keep us that has I mean, it does and say it, but I'm I'm sorry.
00:43:36:32 - 00:43:58:39
Unknown
Could come back. It it did not keep us. And I'm saying that to say it takes intimate to see beyond that, you know, because of course, in the times where, you know, we were on opposite ends of the road, the map, you know, or wherever we were just not on one accord in that area. We had to learn how to navigate through that.
00:43:58:39 - 00:44:29:01
Unknown
And that means we had to go deeper in something that, you know, was beyond that. And so whatever it is, even the finances, the family, the, you know, the flesh, friends, all of that, when those things start to come in and hinder and challenge your marriage, your relationship, you have to go deeper and we have to go deeper together and we have to be determined to go deeper and understand that the enemy wants nothing more than to kill, steal and destroy.
00:44:29:15 - 00:44:50:46
Unknown
Right. And that we have to take a stand. We have to be willing to put our foot and close that door, close that crack, because he's looking for the crack. And so he so before you said that, when we were talking about when you mentioned that you two 19 years surpasses all that's what I was going to say.
00:44:51:02 - 00:45:14:31
Unknown
You know, if you're a little older, I thought you're like T.D. Jakes and his wife sitting up there like they're doing their thing. But now after you said that, most definitely young. You know, that was funny, man. So my question is now to flip that and go serious for a second because I went through in 85 and God brought me through and then you know God takes us through things to win.
00:45:14:31 - 00:45:39:24
Unknown
Sometimes we have to go to those areas to meet the right one because that's how my hurt. But I went through this No. Five and because y'all have what are you to say, you know 19 years surpasses all would you speak to because maybe someone in here is what do you do when one spouse walks away from the marriage So the question is what do you do when one spouse walks away from marriage?
00:45:39:31 - 00:46:01:52
Unknown
Is that correct? So for at least now we are both a byproduct we've both been divorced before. So this is our second marriage for both of us. And so once we enter into this relationship, the first thing that we made a decision that divorce is not an option it's no longer an option. See, some people enter into marriage and say, you know what?
00:46:02:40 - 00:46:18:06
Unknown
Well, if he cheats on me, if he still is, if he does this, you know, all these. But is there any one of those could happened in your at the door? So let's begin to identify, you know, the areas that we need to work on and really be without resolve to see, you know, divorce is not an option.
00:46:18:42 - 00:46:43:16
Unknown
And so we say that first. And so when another spouse walks out, you can't keep them. So you have to get a divorce. But there's only biblically there's only one way that God says that you are supposed to get divorced two ways but, you know, we just we pray through that even in our God can restore their marriage and make something new.
00:46:43:54 - 00:47:22:03
Unknown
But yeah, and I think the hard thing is that, you know, we can only control ourselves and we can only I can only control Felecia and give control over to Christ. I can't I can't do that. I can't control Ryan. That's that's not my job. That's for him to surrender to God. And so, unfortunately, when you are when that happens in the relationship and I can remember in my first marriage, it was such a struggle, you know, going through a divorce and even getting to that place, you know, because it was a thing where we were separated.
00:47:22:05 - 00:47:37:14
Unknown
It was we thought it was going to work out. And I mean, I even went to counseling by myself. I was like, okay, I'm going to do all I know to do to to to try to save this thing. I won't do all I know to do, but I can't make the other person do anything. And so I did that.
00:47:37:16 - 00:47:56:01
Unknown
I did exactly what I felt like that was leading me to do and what he was requiring of me. And then it came a point where he said and I heard him say, grace, if you say grace if you go. And because at that point the divorce had already happened because it happened in the heart first it was just not on paper.
00:47:56:26 - 00:48:35:44
Unknown
And so when anyone chooses to walk away, that's their choice. And they have already divorced in the heart. It's just now an issue. I'm going to just get it done legally. And so in my situation, that's pretty much what had happened. And almost in Ryan's the same thing. And so and I think when he when we came together having the conviction of saying, this is it, like I'm not doing this again and you this is it, we're we're deciding that no, matter how bad it gets, if you got to go stay in the other room, that's fine.
00:48:36:09 - 00:48:47:24
Unknown
We're going to work through this. This is what we're going to do. So now I understand why the king and queen over there in England had to serve a rose like they never have rose together. I'm like, well, how did they catch you? Anyway, I'm sorry.
00:48:50:22 - 00:49:28:14
Unknown
Did y'all know that? I just found that out? I was like, Oh, the moon, you know, I'm sorry. Yeah. And so we don't we're not an advocate that you just sleep in separate rooms because you need to you shouldn't go to sleep upset. No. Reconcile that or say, you know what? Just whatever conversation you guys made you to have had that conversation you kind of go through say, yeah, because maybe it's a foothold for the enemy to kind of come and go outside, cut grass or whatever you need to do, burn off some energy, but come back together, come back together in half because you can be in the same bed and still be angry and
00:49:28:14 - 00:49:50:01
Unknown
still the enemy can still get a foothold. And so you need to reconcile that either way. And so long as as long as you agree upon whatever you decide, it's going to work for your household, then that's fine. And so I'm just, you know, saying in terms of if that's what you agreed to as husband and wife and you're both and both of your heart is are in that place to say, okay, let's do this, then that's good.
00:49:50:21 - 00:50:14:24
Unknown
Because even if you do come together and you go to sleep in the same bed, but your heart isn't that right? It's still a foot hole. It's it's still a crack there. So yeah, it's a few things I want to highlight as we begin to get ready to partake in communion there's three there's there's five things that police and I we, we co-chair, we teach and we we tell our couples to do.
00:50:15:52 - 00:50:28:48
Unknown
First thing you want to do is pray daily. Pray daily as a couple. There's power. You guys coming together, praying, be unified. Through prayer. The second thing is this.
00:50:30:51 - 00:50:51:52
Unknown
And pray for each other. Yeah, of course. Date weekly go on a date. Go get some ice cream taken to Wendy's and get a four, four, four, whatever you want to call it. You know, do whatever you need to do just to get away out of the rhythm of work, family and kids and ministering and all of that stuff.
00:50:52:28 - 00:51:34:48
Unknown
But make sure that you date weekly escape monthly spend a day together, go out, go to Concord meals, or just take a drive, go down a Blue Ridge Parkway, just spend a day together, you know, just to just to spend time, just, you know, just to just to hang out and that that drive that you would typically take either Raleigh or Charlotte, even if this at high point in Greensboro, whatever the case may be, have conversations, create a conversation booklet, you know, just some things where you guys can kind of talk through some things, get away quarterly get away quarterly, take a weekend off and just go go somewhere.
00:51:35:33 - 00:51:43:01
Unknown
I don't care if you pay six, $9 a night or $699 and it's going to accomplish the same thing. Amen. Amen. Yes.
00:51:47:17 - 00:52:27:15
Unknown
If you pay $69 a night for Comfort Suites or you pay $699 at the grand over that weekend is going to be the exact same thing oh, yeah. No, no. I'm gonna keep a hot holiday right there. Would in last minute lease retreat yearly retreat yearly. We want you to retreat is spend a week somewhere. Typically, at least now we retreat on a spiritual retreat.
00:52:28:19 - 00:52:51:11
Unknown
There's a conference or something where we're being fed spiritually, but then we're actually, we're go and take another trip. Case in point, we're taking a trip in the next couple of weeks, and we're going out and we're going out of the country and spend some time together. But we want you to retreat yearly so that where you can reconnect and remember so God can redeem and restore.
00:52:52:57 - 00:53:29:49
Unknown
I want you to get that reconnect and remember what it means to be married to your spouse. The reason why you sit. I do. The reason why you stood before the pastor or whatever, where you got married and you looked in your spouse's eyes, you begin to remember the way the why you guys fell in love. And that's why I love going to weddings because every time I'm either doing a wedding or a part of a wedding, it reminds me of when I said, I do, too.
00:53:29:49 - 00:54:28:54
Unknown
Felicia sometimes we need that reminder and so as our worship team make their way to the stage the benefit of in a relationship with Christ going deeper in intimacy is needed as an individual, as a believer in Christ, you need that guys. But most importantly, you do your own being heaven but then you get to tap into so many different things that the scriptures talk about but then the benefit of being with your spouse, the level of intimacy that you will want is, is, is immeasurable.
00:54:29:51 - 00:54:37:01
Unknown
And as our leaders make their way a front for communion, I just will remind you you're going deeper in intimacy.
00:54:39:51 - 00:55:06:47
Unknown
It's where we all need to be. And if you're not there, my prayer is that you will soon, one day do that. And so what better way to close out this service? Today is one of the greatest intimate moments that we have as believers. In us to take Holy Communion. And people ask me, right, why don't we do communion once a month?
00:55:09:13 - 00:55:40:18
Unknown
And this is just my personal conviction. Becomes a ritual and that's just me, because we're used to doing every month or every you know, you do every first Sunday or whatever the case can be. It became a ritual for me like for me, I lost sight of what communion was. And when you do it, you know, just those those moments throughout the year, there's a greater impact because you can do now you can take communion home anytime you want.
00:55:41:26 - 00:56:13:23
Unknown
And so today, as we take communion we lift up a couple of passages of scripture. First Corinthians Chapter 11 says this fall received from the Lord that which I have also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which he was betrayed, took bread and when he had given things, he broke it and said, Take, eat, this is my body which is broken for you.
00:56:15:15 - 00:57:01:03
Unknown
Do this in remembrance of me. In the same manner. He also took the cup after supper, saying, This cup is the new covenant in my blood. This do as often as you drink it in remembrance of me, for as often as you eat this bread and drink of this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes therefore, wherever you eat this bread and drink this cup of the Lord in the unworthy manner will be guilty of the body, in the blood of the Lord.
00:57:02:41 - 00:57:49:45
Unknown
And so today, as we pass out the elements, acts that you guys just hold on to them so we can take communion together as a family. The worship team is going to sing while in the background just to kind of really get us ready for communion if we can stand the apostle Paul writes in First Corinthians Chapter 11 verse 28, but let a man examine himself.
00:57:51:24 - 00:58:21:26
Unknown
So let them eat of the bread and drink of the cup for eats and drinks in an unworthy manner. Eat and drink in judgment to himself, not discerning the laws body for this meek. For this reason, many are sick and weak among you, and many have sleep for if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. But when we are judge, we are chastened by the Lord that we may not be condemned with the world.
00:58:22:56 - 00:58:28:03
Unknown
Therefore, my brother, when you come together, eat, wait for one another.
00:58:30:09 - 00:58:44:35
Unknown
But if anyone is hungry, let them eat at home leads you come together for judgment and the rest. I was set in order So today we partake of the body. It was broken.
00:58:46:52 - 00:59:27:20
Unknown
And wounded for our transgressions. Today we take the body, the bread. Today as we hold this cup, we do it as a reminder for his blood that he shed is only by the shedding of the blood by the spotless lamb that we receive our inheritance in heaven. So let's take the blood of Christ.
00:59:33:00 - 00:59:35:01
Unknown
Father in Heaven, we thank you for who you are.
00:59:37:02 - 01:00:12:22
Unknown
Father, we think you got for the opportunity to take communion one of the greatest intimate moments that we have as a believer So, Holy Spirit, we asit today, as we go deeper in intimacy with you that you would guide us and lead us not only to our truth, but in greater depth than you Holy Spirit, have your way not only in our lives, God, but in our daily walk with you.
01:00:14:10 - 01:00:21:42
Unknown
Father we thank you for who you are, for sending your son to die in a cross for us.
01:00:24:11 - 01:00:45:09
Unknown
So as we gathered today, we remembered your calls and a price that he did for us. If I father, we say that we love you. We are using your matchless and majestic name that we pray. Christ, Jesus, we say amen. Amen. And there's one more song we worship is going to see